Managing Anger - What is Anger?

 This is one of the final chapters in the book: "Biblical Principles for Managing My Emotions" Lord willing, the rest will be in print in a month. . . That makes me happy = )

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Managing Anger

Just this week I opened a kind note from a friend that I’ve known for many years. In that note there was a check for $1,000 for our church building fund. A note like that sure makes me want to open the mail! But the story gets better when you know more details.

My dad and a friend first met Uncle Freddy while he was in prison. They would visit inmates to share the Gospel with men who were a “captive audience.” Freddy earned his place there in prison because he had murdered one of his close friends in a fit of rage. In prison, Freddy met the life-changing forgiveness of Christ. The change in Freddy’s life is a great testimony of God’s power over the emotion of anger.

You see, I didn’t know Freddy for his temper. I knew him as a kind man who spent time playing basketball and tennis with me, my brothers, and our friends. Over the years, he has taken a special interest in us and has funded different Gospel efforts that this group of six kiddos have been pursuing with their lives.

I don’t share this story to shock you. I say it to give you hope.

The stories like this don’t stop with Freddy, do they? Moses (you’ve heard of him) also killed someone in a fit of rage. And yet, he was known as the meekest man on earth.

Paul too, was a murderer and a “violent aggressor”. His murder was done in the name of religion. Some of the worst anger recorded in the Bible was sinful “religious” anger. And yet, Christ changed Paul too, so that he was known for the meekness that would rather suffer abuse and lovingly share Christ even with those who were persecuting him.

As we turn to the Scriptures that changed each of these men, we can find hope even for the most hopeless cases. Let’s start the way we have with each of the other emotions. In this chapter, we will consider the nature of anger and then in the next chapter, how to manage it.

What is Anger?

Anger is an emotional response to displeasure. When I’m pleased with my circumstances, I am not tempted to be angry.

But even in my most pleasant moods on a Tuesday (my “day-off”); when not much is on my plate and I’m sitting in a hammock next to a mountain stream, if a bird does his business on my head, I’m immediately irritated. And if I then fall out of my hammock and spill my coffee all over myself then I am no longer pleased and perhaps angry. And if someone else laughs and videos the whole episode and uploads it for everyone to enjoy with unsympathetic laughing face emojis, I’m definitely no longer pleased. I’m angry. “Of all the people in all the world, why me? And why did they need to post that without my permission... It's just not right!”

Our sense of displeasure or irritation can quickly change into anger. Although, we are all built with different personality traits that allow us to sense this displeasure more or less quickly. We all enter that emotion of anger at one point or another. Yes, even you, if caught at the right moment could be considered “an angry person.”

Perhaps Sampson is the most well-known biblical example of one whose displeasure boiled over into anger. When he was tricked by his wedding guests to lose a bet, he stormed out, killed, and robbed 30 neighbors to pay off his debt… and that’s just one example of many other outbursts.

But who was angry the most in the Bible? If I were to ask you what is the most common expression of anger in the Bible what would you say? It might surprise you—it is God. 

Anger and Sin

Anger is not always sinful. This does not surprise you now. As we have learned in the case of each of the “big three”—concern, sadness, and now anger—are not always sinful. The key is managing that emotion. In each case, the opposite is also true. I may be sinning by not reacting in anger toward something. Why am I not displeased when this or that injustice happens? This may be because of a heart that does not love as it ought.

Jesus too expressed anger on repeated occasions. You remember the most visual account. He did not just internalize and control His anger. He allowed His anger to take control and energize the disturbance of God’s Temple. In this case, He was engaging His anger to stop the abuse of God’s Temple. But it was still very disrupting.

Pause and read our Lord’s emotional response as He saw others taking advantage of people in God’s house which should be a place of prayer.

“The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. And He found in the temple those who were selling oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. And He made a scourge of cords, and drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen; and He poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables; and to those who were selling the doves He said, ‘Take these things away; stop making My Father’s house a place of business’” (John 2:13–16).

And so, if God is angry and His Son is angry, it is possible that we should be angry too. The Bible says,

“Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26).

Although some anger is what we would cal “righteous anger,” anger is not always good; sinful anger is possible. Let’s consider two primary triggers of anger and how this emotion can be positive or negative. 

Anger and Injustice

Displeasure leading to anger is often triggered by injustice.1 We are born with an inherent sense of fairness that is developed and shaped by both our family and our society. This is something that Christians value and champion.

When someone is taken advantage of, our sense of fairness is disrupted and we are displeased. That displeasure reacts in anger to take action on behalf of those who have been treated unfairly.

INJUSTICE >>DISPLEASURE>>ANGER>>ACTION

Perhaps our sense of justice and fairness is most sensitive when dealing with fairness to our own concerns. “That guy just sold me a fake diamond! I paid for a real diamond. I’m out $1,500! That’s not fair!” If that happened to you (or the guy that is proposing to you), you're angrier than when it happens to someone else. If it happened to someone else you might be tempted to say. “Well, you should have been more careful.” You feel the injustice or unfairness more keenly when it happens to something or someone you love.

Additionally, the greater the offense of unfairness, the angrier we get even when we don’t know the recipients of the unfairness personally. Our society overflows in anger at these types of injustices that have become too common. The headline news showcases all the injustices in the world so often that it is difficult to not find a cause—or, if we are not careful, we may become insensitive to the injustices happening around us.

Anger toward injustice is a good and godly thing. God will correct these injustices. But that does not mean that we are not appalled and angry when they happen.

We are quick to see the unfairness in others’ lives but not in our own. Nathan was tricky when confronting King David about his adultery with a soldier’s wife. He told him the story of a wealthy man who took the beloved sheep of a neighbor. David’s sense of justice was immediately aroused and he condemned the man who was so unfair, but failed to see his own faults until Nathan declared. “Thou art the man!” And so there are many times that we must be angry.

Our sense of fairness is tied to what we value. If your only anger is primarily exhibited toward how referees act toward the home team, perhaps we have placed too much value on our sports hobbies. Or if your only anger is exhibited to how a neighbor was able to park in a spot that you thought they should not park, then perhaps your value system needs to be adjusted. And so, “anger, like all emotions, flows from love.”2 We are triggered to anger most quickly, most passionately, by what we love most dearly.

But more on that when we consider how to manage our anger in the next chapter. For now, let’s consider another major trigger for our anger.

The Possum Effect — Anger’s Other Trigger

The anger of our displeasure is not only triggered by injustice, but also by pressure or irritation. A possum is an ugly animal anyway, but when it is cornered, it is perhaps the ugliest being in existence. Its beady red eyes shoot darts and its fangs and claws bear themselves ready to pounce with a hiss. We too look pretty ugly when that irritation backs us into a corner and we see no way out but to respond … out of control.

Many outbursts of anger happen as someone is boxed into a situation where they feel no way out except by force. It may be that their situation has backed them into that corner slowly and steadily. Or it may be that the pressure has slowly turned up the heat little by little, but inevitably the pressure of being trapped takes over and the cornered party explodes out of the corner.

Saul’s anger at King David was similar. His was not a case of justice. He was championing injustice. And yet, the circumstances turned up the heat to the situation to where Saul tried to kill David. If his son was not able to be the heir apparent to his throne, he would take out the other heirs apparent.

This may be our most common trigger of anger on a daily basis and fits well with my calm, day-off picture above. Life gives us so many of these times of pressure. We need to be well prepared in disarming the problems before they escalate out of control.

Anger and Danger

Out of the big three, anger is the most caustic emotion to others when it spills over. Anxiety and sadness can rot us out on the inside. But anger often boils over (or seethes through) to harm others more than just ourselves. And so, this one should be addressed with all care and speed. Proverbs urges us with great caution:

“He who is slow to anger has great understanding,

But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly” (Proverbs 14:29).

“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife,

But the slow to anger calms a dispute” (Proverbs 15:18).

“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,

And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city” (Proverbs 16:32).

“A man of great anger shall bear the penalty,

For if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again” (Proverbs 19:19).

“Do not associate with a man given to anger;

Or go with a hot-tempered man” (Proverbs 22:24).

“Scorners set a city aflame,

But wise men turn away anger” (Proverbs 29:8).

“A fool always loses his temper,

But a wise man holds it back” (Proverbs 29:11).

Sad to say, anger often leaves destruction in its wake. The words for sinful anger in the Bible often reflect the uncontrolled outbursts of anger that lead to more problems and significant pain. Consider below how many of the fruit of the flesh are related to anger.

“Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Galatians 5:19–21).

As we yield to the strength of the Spirit, we find the fruit of the Spirit as “self control.” This controlled anger gives the energy to attack the problem rather than the people involved.

Anger and Energy

My grandad was a WWII man of few words but much wisdom and the character to do what he committed himself to. He set some long-distance records for safe driving as a truck driver. But he also had a temper. Once while fixing one of those massive old Chrysler cars the heavy hood landed on his head. In response, he ripped off the hood and threw it into the bushes on the side of the road. Well, that didn’t solve the problem. But it did show that you should be careful when fixing the car with Pop-Pop!

You’ve heard stories of people whose adrenaline has allowed them to do nearly superhuman things. This is the blessing and danger of anger. God made our bodies with a fifth gear. It is not often entered into, but the energy found there will help someone to tackle nearly any problem—or break trying!

And so, let’s move to our next chapter to consider the Bible’s counsel on how to manage and channel that energy into solving problems.

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Questions for Reflection

1. Anger is always sinful and must be avoided at all costs (True / False).

2. Of the “big three,” which is the most harmful to others?

3. Name some Biblical characters who showed expressions of sinful anger. Name Biblical characters who showed expressions of righteous anger. What are some factors that distinguishes one from the other?

4. In what way is anger tied to love?

Footnotes:

1 “Anger says, ‘That is wrong.’ It is a fundamentally moral emotion. In fact, you could say it is the moral emotion. When you are angry, what is happening inside is this: your heart is observing the scene before you and crying out that something you love is being treated unjustly. Anger always passes judgement (and judgments, unlike a judgmental spirit, can be right as well as wrong.)” J Alasadair Groves and Winston T. Smith, Untangling Emotions, Crossway, 2019, pg. 170.

2 J Alasadair Groves and Winston T. Smith, Untangling Emotions, Crossway, 2019, pg. 170.


First Image - Moritz Spahn - Unsplash

Second Image - Igore Vikhrev - Unsplash

Third image - Simon John MChaffie - Unsplash

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Fifth Image - Skyler Ewing - Pexels

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